Being Disabled.

I am not disabled. But if you were a stranger meeting me in the street you wouldn't know that. I may be autistic or have a prosthetic leg for example.

The truth is that people often don't know how to react to someone who is disabled, especially if that person has a learning or mental disability. Having grown up with someone who has Downs Syndrome (my sister) and having a Mum who worked in a Special School whilst I was growing up, I was not only aware of particular conditions but comfortable with them. I must admit that, as a youngster, when I first saw a young girl, unable to speak, who had to be fed and cleaned, and had the inability to move her limbs, it was still quite shocking. I remember, more than anything, feeling helpless.

As an adult it's much easier to rationalise that response, I think, but yet I still occasionally see adults who treat some disabled people with suspicion, confusion and judgement and it upsets me. This ignorant minority may well include pleasant people, who are friendly, hard-working, trusting citizens but who just are not accustomed to or comfortable around people with disabilities. But why?! They are just people!

Now, as I said, this is a minority. Most people will happily communicate (or attempt to communicate) with disabled people. But there is a problem that runs much deeper.

Others would sometimes go out of their way to be overtly nice to disabled people such that it patronises them. I spent most of sunny Saturday spent indoors having a training session, run by Build Charity on Understanding Disability and Safeguarding. What the Understanding Disability session stressed was just how NORMAL disabled people are!

• Some like to watch football
• Some are gay
• Some are 81 years old
• Most have a fantastic sense of humour (in the same proportion of people without a disability)
• Some have memories that could put you to shame
• And so on...

I feel like I've got more recognition than I deserve simply because I help/socialise with/get beaten at Wii Boxing by adults with learning difficulties. It shouldn't be glorified. I would want the same amount of recognition if I worked with children, adults, or dogs (maybe not dogs, but you get the point).

To stress: I'm not "lovely" because I volunteer with adults with learning disabilities. I'm "lovely" because I volunteer. And because my Mum says I am.

Probably.

So please, if you have a conversation with an adult with learning disabilities, or any disability, talk directly to them, treat them with respect and try not to patronise them. Otherwise they'll think you're the weird one.

To highlight how some people lose common sense when communicating with others who are different to them, here's a quote from Warwick Davis (from Life's Too Short and others) after he was asked if people should stand up next to him in photos or crouch down next to him:

You can stand. But the photo will either be of your head next to nothing or my head next to your balls.

So just be sensible and friendly. Not just to adults with learning disabilities but to everyone. Especially me.

[I said that last time I would talk about my Italian course, novel writing, and jogging... but I'll do that next time. Keep the audience wanting even more!

After now two weeks of my Italian course, it's worth mentioning though: there are a lot of Italian words...]